I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
