Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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