everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
