careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
