i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I forgot wine drunk hurts
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
