i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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