today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
