a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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