My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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