There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
