Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
