let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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