Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I am in a vortex of obligation.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
