Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
