its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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