Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
