i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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