Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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