Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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