Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
