Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Text me some of your sweat
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
