I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
