is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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