matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
