week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
