I'm jealous of your bromance
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
