hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
