kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize