heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
