Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
