Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
