On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
