I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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