How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
