so that wasnt chicken after all
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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