she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
