next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
