He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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