Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
