Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
