There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
