It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
