so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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