Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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