i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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