he shaved USA in his pubs
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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