I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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