I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
