Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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