wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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