Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
