fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize