You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
