clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
